2-11-14 - Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Who else grew up on that misguided little ditty? It denies the truth that hurtful words can cause deeper, longer-lasting wounds – and it suggests that using words to inflict pain doesn’t have real consequences, to perpetrator or victim.

Jesus says otherwise: “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; ...But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool’, you will be liable to the hell of fire."

Whoa, Nellie! Is Jesus really saying that insulting someone is on a par with murder? Invective tossed around in anger is a form of violence? Calling someone an idiot is like killing them? Thank God Jesus isn’t on Facebook!

I think he is saying that, when we insult or libel another person, we are temporarily dehumanizing them, not honoring them as a fellow child of God, created for life, redeemed in love. I know that when I have been the target of scorn or gossip, I have described feeling “un-selfed.” I think that’s what we do when we ridicule or insult another – we un-self them. That is a kind of death-dealing, and it causes deep spiritual injury. It may not be actionable in a court of law, but Jesus wants his followers to go beyond the law to the heart.

Jesus suggests that we too are damaged when we use words as weapons. We usually do that out of a feeling of anxiety or powerlessness – we are temporarily inflated when we run someone else down. But it also diminishes us, and renders us less whole, less fully who God made us to be. Those who would follow Christ cannot be complacent about this area of sin.

If we seek to be reconciled with God (“So when you offer your gift at the altar…”) while in a state of estrangement with people in our lives (“if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you…”), we need to face that and deal with it, restoring them and us to our full humanity in full humility: "leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”

Elsewhere, Jesus offers a process for such reconciliation. Today, let’s keep it simple. Is there anyone in your life who causes you anger, annoyance, anxiety? Sit quietly in prayer and let those names and faces float up to your consciousness. And then pray for them to be blessed beyond measure. Yes, blessed with all the fullness of God’s blessing. Think about it – if they’re blessed, you benefit too. And it’s a way to begin to move toward forgiving them, if that is called for.

And is there anyone whom you have injured with words to or about them? Even words you’ve only thought? They’re toxic enough in our own minds. Can you pray for that person to be blessed and ask them for forgiveness? If that seems impossible, play it out in your imagination first, going to see them with Jesus at your side. What do you say? What do they say? What does Jesus say?

Being critical and sarcastic takes so much energy; loathing another even more. Think what God can do through us and for us when we yield that space to the Holy Spirit. When all our interactions are life-giving, our lives will bear the fruit of such abundant peace, it can only spill over to the people around us.