“Swamped” is a word we often use to describe our schedule or workload. Its original meaning is a lot scarier – it refers to a boat getting covered by water in a big wave, making everything wet and at risk of capsizing - literally overwhelmed. There are times in our lives when we get swamped, and by lot more than work.
Last week was swampy for me – I’d been dealing with the diagnosis of diabetes in a beloved cat, but managing, and then suddenly she had a health crisis and I discovered (at enormous cost, incurred within minutes) she also has heart disease and my time with her will be more limited than I had hoped. I was overcome by shock, grief, confusion, love – my deck was swamped. It’s scary how suddenly we can go from battling a strong head wind to being buffeted in a gale.
And now, in a “meta-moment,” as I try to write this, late on the day it is to be posted, the head winds have picked up again and the water is sloshing menacingly. I’ve had to leave said beloved cat for a few days to come celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday, and the cat sitter just called to say she’s having a lot of trouble giving the medications. The cat is scared and combative, and I am filled with fear of what the stress is doing to her heart condition, helpless at being so far away, spiraling into anxiety, driven to prayer.
Which kind of puts me in the boat with those disciples.
“A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped.”
And I need to remember who they had along in the boat – the Lord of heaven and earth, though he didn't seem to be much help: "But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion."
I know the best thing I can do today is stay as close to that guy asleep on the cushion as I possibly can, because he has power I do not have; he has peace I cannot manufacture; he has love even greater than my love for my cat. And the bible reminds me that, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear...” (I John 4:18a) So I will, like those disciples, call on Jesus to rise up, not to join the anxiety, but to calmly command the winds to cease and the waves to be still.
Are there situations in your life in which you feel your boat is being swamped by the wind-whipped waves?
Can you recall the times when the storm was stilled?
Bishop Gene Robinson was once quoted as saying something like, “Sometimes God stills the storm, and sometimes God stills us within the storm.”
Either way, we know that God-Life is one of peace amidst unpeaceful circumstances, love in the face of fear. Please pray for me to stay so focused on the love in my life that fear cannot gain a foothold.
(And please pray for the wellbeing of my cats until I can return to them Thursday!)
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