People often think humility means being hyper-aware of one’s faults and shortcomings, keeping a low profile, not trumpeting one’s gifts or accomplishments. We must take care not to confuse humility with excessive modesty or low self-esteem. Humility, quite simply, is seeing oneself clearly; having an accurate view of one’s assets and gifts as well as the areas in which we would like to improve.
The protagonist in this week’s gospel story seems to be such a man, someone who wields power comfortably and recognizes its limits. When his valued slave (slavery being common in that place and time) became mortally ill, he no doubt did everything he could to get medical care for this man. As he had many resources at his disposal, that was probably a lot. But he also knew the limits of his power. And he’d heard of this healer based in his town who just might be able to save his servant. Hearing that Jesus had returned to Capernaum, he set about making the request through Jewish leaders. And it worked – soon Jesus was on his way to his house. But that was more than the centurion asked.
And Jesus went with them, but when he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to say to him, ‘Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; therefore I did not presume to come to you. But only speak the word, and let my servant be healed.
That is humility: to be in command of one hundred troops in an occupying force, and yet acknowledge this itinerant holy man, a member of the occupied populace, as having greater worth and more power. This is another mark of the truly humble – not only do they see themselves accurately; they are thus enabled to see others clearly. A person of humility has no need to appear greater or more important – or less – than they are. This centurion understood what Jesus was about, how he brought the power of heaven into the worldly realm, and he understood that it his word that could speak wholeness into the sick. His insight into the spiritual, and his humility, left Jesus amazed.
Where are you on the humility-ometer? Do you see yourself as the amazing, beloved daughter or son of God that you are? Are you able to delight in your gifts and skills, your insight and intellect, the things you are able to accomplish? That’s humility. Do you recognize that everything you have and are is a gift from the God who delights in you? That’s humility. Are you conscious of the ways you are less than you could be, the ways you want to grow? That’s humility.
Today, make a list of what you think is wonderful about yourself, and what you wish could be different. And then offer it up in prayer, reading it as though God were reading it over your shoulder. That, too, is humility.
Seems as if I can never have an accurate view of my gifts and weaknesses because first I would need an accurate view of who God is. The closest I can come to an accurate view of myself is to say "Here I am, Lord."
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