Yesterday I confessed my addiction to my to-do list; it might be considered a source of abundance in my life, since it truly never runs out. It also provides my best excuses for not taking time away from the workload to relax, refresh, and simply “be.” What if I don’t get the next thing done, or I miss a deadline or an appointment?
In this week’s gospel story, we see Jesus make that choice, to miss the boat, sending the disciples on with out him. Yet somehow he arrives when needed. “When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake.”
Oh, is that all? Sure, if we could teleport ourselves through space, or skip across bodies of water, we’d make up for lost time too, wouldn’t we? And it seems we can’t do either of those things, being more bound by the limits of space and time and elements than Jesus appeared to have been.
But I’ve often found the principle works just the same. When we take the time we need for prayer and self-care, somehow deadlines get met, or they shift due to some other, unforeseen factor – or we miss them and find out it’s okay. At my best, when I feel the wind of the Spirit in my sails, I feel that God has the timing under control and I just have to walk in the “good works God has prepared beforehand for me.” Things that I thought I should have done ages ago work out in a way that they could not possibly have before this moment, or they prove not to have been as necessary as I thought.
But we only know that after the fact, don’t we? Somehow we have to keep navigating the fine line between our agency as servants of God, and the power of God to accomplish what God wills. Some say “Work as though it’s all up to you; pray as though it’s all up to God.” That’s too separate for me. I prefer, “Pray, because it’s all up to God, and work as the Spirit guides you.” And if you don’t feel any guidance, go forward as you want – if we are faithful, God will make sure the pieces line up in the end. Somehow.
Think of when you have taken time for yourself, and haven't done something you were supposed to do, or missed being somewhere you were supposed to be. Did the thing get done anyway? Did you connect with the right people later? Was there any “coincidence” in it coming out right?
Does your spirit yearn for some restorative time now? Are your obligations proving to be obstacles to slaking that thirst? What would it look like if you just took the time and then watched to see how the Spirit of God gets you across the water to that boat?
I worry that I spend too much time outside these days, not working in as focused a way as I “should.” But it’s what my spirit craves, and 'tis the season for being outside. I do work out there…and I listen to the birds and watch the squirrels leap from branch to branch and pet the cats and admire the growing tomatoes and herbs. I don’t know what boats I might be missing but I choose to believe I’ll be where I’m supposed to be when. Certainly I’ll be less stressed.
One of my favorite cartoons shows a person sitting contentedly at a desk, over the caption, “I love deadlines. I love to watch them fly by.” Can I get an amen?
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