I have found this week’s gospel reading a challenge - these words of Jesus to Nicodemus that are both wonderfully affirming and yet clearly set a boundary between those who accept the gift of God in Christ, and those who choose darkness. (Jesus does not comment directly about people of different faiths; we can interpret his words narrowly or generously.) It's been heavy going, navigating the flow of his ideas and how to interpret them.
We end on a high note though, as Jesus closes his discourse with this observation: “But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.”
I was struck by that phrase, “Those who do what is true.” I expected it to say, “Those who do what is good.” But “good” is a very subjective measure. What one person considers good might be harmful to another. What is true, though – if we define “true” as guileless, transparent, without any falsehood – no one can argue with that. It just is.
It bothers me when people equate being a Christian with "being good." If we were good, we’d have had no need for Christ, and no need to be a Christian. I believe that being a Christian is about acknowledging how “not good” we can be, and how much we need God. When we accept that Christ did not come to condemn us, and that God receives as we are, we find ourselves more often choosing the good. So let’s take “being a good person” out of this.
What about being true, though? That yields some room for growth. To be a person without guile, without falsehood, without hidden agenda, totally transparent – that is a worthy goal, and one that we can attain only if we see ourselves with humility and clarity. I believe we can also only achieve it if we allow the Spirit of God to work in us, to dismantle the false personas in us, the fears that cause us to pretend or withhold the truth.
In that sense, we not only strive to be true. We must allow ourselves to be trued – the verb form referring to the way a builder will bring something into the exact position or alignment needed for it to function properly. Just as an object cannot “true” itself, so we must be “trued” by the power of God, the only one who knows exactly how we are to be aligned, because he’s the one who made us.
What we can do is make it our heart’s desire to become a person without guile or falsehood or hidden needs or strategies. We can start to notice when something we say is less than the truth, and revise it. We can pay attention to the circumstances in which we seem to feel the need to hide behind a mask of who we think people want us to be, rather than being fully, gloriously who we are, faults and all.
I got very anxious yesterday, because an event I was in charge of was not going well – the person doing the food was late, the speaker was late, many people who’d registered did not show up. I felt it reflected badly on me. I had to remind myself that I was only upset because I worried about what people thought of me. When I separated out my role from that of others, and stopped taking responsibility for more than was really mine, I began to calm down, to become more true. That’s the kind of attention I mean.
I think the Carpenter of Nazareth knew something about how to "true" materials. I want to let his Spirit true me into proper alignment. As I become a person who “does what is true,” I come more and more to the light. Will you join me?
No comments:
Post a Comment