A reminder that we’re a little “off-lectionary” this week, but close – I'm using the story from Mark instead of John.)
It is really hard to do ministry without regular, intentional prayer. And it is really hard to do regular, intentional prayer in the busyness of ministry, even for Jesus. You may recall that he was heading off on a mini-retreat with his disciples when he got sidelined by the needy crowd, which turned into a hungry crowd, which occasioned his miracle of the feeding. Now his own need to pray, long-deferred, takes hold:
Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray.
Jesus was able to delay his regular check-in with his heavenly Father – after all, they were constantly united by the Holy Spirit – but not indefinitely. After the miraculous picnic with the loaves and the fish, the time had come for some alone-time in prayer. He sent off the crowds, he sent off his disciples to the next place on his itinerary, and up the mountain he went to renew his connection with his Father, maybe to hear again that blessed “Well done, beloved,” to rejoice and review and recharge.
That’s pretty much what prayer can be for us, a time of just being and blessing. I did not know this as a child. I went through a hyper-religious phase that manifest itself in various ways, one of which was a nightly “prayer meeting” with my stuffed animals under the covers before sleep. I ran this like a business meeting – first we’ll say thank you, then we’ll pray for other people, then we’ll ask for stuff. (I truly can’t remember what Lamby and Tigey contributed to the proceedings…).
Too often, that’s still how I approach prayer time, as a formal interview for which I better have my act together. Yet time and again, when I do allow myself to be quiet, and actually invite the Spirit of Christ to make himself known in and around me, I find that it’s more like sitting with a friend or mentor, sometimes at a pond, sometimes on a beach, sometimes just in my head. I’m sure God appreciates my gratitude, but I don’t have to offer up seven “thank yous” to merit one “ask.” I don’t even have to ask or thank. I can just be – and yes, rejoice, review and recharge.
But doing this does require some intentional time when I’m not doing something else. I am in regular prayer throughout the day, asking, thanking, praising, lamenting, repenting. But often I resist the “be still and know that I am God” times. I am running, living the task list, bouncing to the next thing, ignoring the thirst in my spirit. Or perhaps more precisely, diverting my attention from the thirst in my spirit, because to access that promised living water demands an intimacy I don’t want to give myself to, though I am always rewarded by it. I often think God waits on us as we might wait on a wild animal, sitting quite still so we will draw near, hoping we don't get spooked and run away.
I do know this – that to offer ministry in the name of Christ without receiving the regular anointing of Christ in prayer is to offer water from a leaky pitcher. I’m grateful to the Spirit for giving me those three words as I write this: rejoice, review, recharge. I recommit myself to allowing God’s presence to draw near to me, and I invite you to join me, setting aside a time, a place, and a heart as open and honest as you can make it. Just sit and say, "Here I am, Jesus." Don't apologize for how long it may have been since you last came - just start where you start.
We may hear many things from the One who made us – among them, “Well done, my beloved.”
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