Yesterday we reflected on birthing and hope. These themes are prominent in this week's story from the Hebrew Bible, the beautiful tale of Hannah and her longing for a baby. In this multi-layered account we find acute observations of marital dynamics, women's rivalry, and faulty communication between loving partners. But chiefly we see a women desperate for the one thing that would validate her in that time and culture – bearing a child into the world.
Hannah is the favorite wife of Elkanah, but she is infertile – as the writer of her story puts it, “the Lord had closed her womb.” Elkanah’s other wife is very fruitful – and jealous:
On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters; but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. Her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”
There is something touching, if appallingly out of touch, about Elkanah’s belief that his love should alleviate Hannah’s heartbreak at her childlessness. And there is much that is familiar in the bitter interactions between Hannah and Penninah. More painful still is the picture of a family locked into bitter patterns “year by year,” and a woman sliding deeper and deeper into depression. We know Hannah; some of us have been Hannah.
And then she decides to take action. Her action is prayer. Her action is offering to return to God the gift she craves if only he will grant it in the first place: She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord, and wept bitterly. She made this vow: “O Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death.
Though I don’t encourage bargaining with God, and question if Hannah’s desire for a child was more to remove her shame than for love, I see in her prayer the basis for our life as stewards of God’s gifts: they are not ours to keep. Everything we have is on loan to us, to use, to enjoy, to nurture for growth, but not to keep as our own. That includes our children and spouses as well as our material goods and resources. When we can loosen our grip on what we think is ours, we are freer in relationships, less exploitative, less locked into our own expectations. We become freer to love.
Hannah was willing to offer the male child she would bear to be raised in God’s temple, setting him apart for an ascetic life of service – he becomes the great prophet Samuel. God did not ask that sacrifice of Hannah, and he does not ask it of us. Yet God does want us to be willing to release our gifts into his service, be they people or resources. As you inventory what is most precious to you today, where might you release that gift to bless the community around you?
To receive Water Daily by email each morning, subscribe here.
No comments:
Post a Comment