Oh, here we go. “If you want to follow me, hate your family… carry your cross…. give up all your possessions... get your act together.” Jesus could have used a good PR rep to massage these messages.
On the other hand, it’s 2,019 years and counting, give or take, and Jesus still has more followers than a Kardashian’s Instagram feed, and his book remains an all-time bestseller millennia after publication – so maybe he’s doing alright. Maybe we can explore these harsh-sounding messages and find our way into the love at the heart of them.
On the surface, they don’t seem so loving. Let’s start with Jesus’ spin on family values:
"Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”
Did Jesus really say that? Well, this was the man who, when told his mother and brothers were waiting for him, mortified at the spectacle he was becoming, said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Mt 12:50) This is the man whose followers left their homes and families to travel with him, checking back now and then, but committing themselves to a bigger, messier family.
Jesus’ teaching radically undermines how human nature and culture lead us to think and act about family. Our earthly families can be great blessings –and they are among the “things that are passing away.” From the perspective of eternity, they pale in importance to our membership in the family of God. It is a fine line we walk in loving and nurturing our human families yet not letting our love for them distract us from cultivating our relationship of love with God.
We do that best when we prize our human family members as gifts from God given to us in trust to nurture and help grow, not to possess, control or cling to. We don’t have to love our families less – we are invited to love our mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters and brothers in the household of God more. That will enable us to be even more loving to those in our human families.
Today, let’s give thanks for our families of origin – the gifts, the challenges, the truth. If your experience of family is painful, invite the living water of healing into those wounds.
Reflect on who you’ve come to know and love in your “God-family” – grandparents, siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins in faith. Who comes to mind? What has she or he brought to your life?
Who are your “children” in faith – people whom you’ve mentored and supported in their faith life?
Who do you know who could use a new family? Who might you bring into the household of God?
Jesus has better than a good PR person. He has the best network of promoters on the planet – as we expand our circles of love and healing to include ever more brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews.
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