At first glance Jesus’ parables often seem upside down. In this one we see half the bridesmaids rewarded for refusing to share, and others punished severely for merely failing to prepare. Hmmm. The nap they all took while waiting for the bridegroom to show up does not seem to have been a problem, and each had taken care to prepare her own lamp. The issue was that half of them had not thought ahead.
“But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those bridesmaids got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise replied, ‘No! there will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’”
Had the lamps had been lit earlier, when they thought the bridegroom would come any minute? Were they burning during nap time? Whatever the reason, the five foolish bridesmaids had not foreseen the need for extra oil. They’d brought just enough, which turned out to be not enough at all. And the wise (or “fuelish?”) were not about to share.
Wait a minute – isn’t Jesus in favor of sharing? Loving your neighbor as yourself? Doing unto others? What’s up with the selfish bridesmaids, and why does he deem them “wise?” Let’s think about it. If they'd shared the extra oil they’d brought no one would have enough. All the lamps would go out, and the bridegroom would arrive to darkness. No procession, no dancing, no lights. Maybe he wouldn’t even be able to find his bride. This falls into the category of the airplane instructions to put on your own oxygen mask before helping children and other passengers.
If Jesus’ story is a metaphor about God’s Bridegroom coming into the hearts of humankind to draw us into union with God, then an absence of light is a grave problem. The wise bridesmaids have their eye on the big picture, the overall mission, where the foolish ones can’t see past their personal success or failure. The disciples God seeks, Jesus suggests, are those who are conscious, aware, prepared, and focused enough on shining God's light in this world to not allow distractions to pull them off-mission.
In our day we know a thing or two about distraction – pervasive media, data, noise, busyness. And in our post-Christendom culture, there are fewer external supports to living our lives focused on Christ – and a lot more competition. Soccer on Sundays isn’t the half of it. I know people who hold back from a deeper spiritual commitment because their spouse or partner is not interested. I know many people who let their workload dictate their priorities (too often I’m one of them).
It is not selfish to preserve time to be quiet with God, to foster your relationship with Christ. When we’re in love, we don’t question the amount of time we spend with our beloved. Jesus invites us into a relationship of love in which he becomes our first priority. If what we’re promised is true, he is our one eternal relationship – getting to know him and letting him get close to us is the greatest gift we can give to the people in our lives, no matter their short-term needs.
When we are refreshed, we are much more effective as representatives of God in the world. We are more finely tuned to discerning need around us, and to the movement of the Spirit in us. We are quicker to recognize our own faults and invite Jesus to set us free. We become wedding attendants who can dance Jesus into the hearts of those who might be ready to fall in love with him. He’ll do the rest.
