You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday's gospel reading is here.
When Jesus is asked whether or not divorce is permissible for the faithful, he goes to the Scriptures, quoting Genesis: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh."
Sounds simple enough. It’s the ideal of what marriage is. Much more than a change of life status and condition, marriage in the Judeo-Christian view is the creation of a new person, if you will, an entity crafted from the union of the two partners entering into this covenant. It’s a beautiful ideal, and maddeningly difficult to live into, especially in a culture that understands marriage as the consummation of romantic love. And to the question of whether only two people with different genders can become “one flesh,” the bible is silent, as it is on abortion, medical ethics, labor laws, and so many other issues that vex us today.
What Jesus is not silent on is the sanctity of the union once made. He answers the Pharisees in a fairly general way – “…Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” But Mark tells us that in private he has a different answer for his disciples: Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Harsh words. I wonder why Jesus didn’t define it so starkly in public – did he know it might drive people away, as it once did a parishioner when this passage was read in church? And why does this statement allow no room for situations like abuse, infidelity or neglect that might warrant dissolving a marriage? And what do we make of our times, in which so many marriages suffer estrangement, unfaithfulness and often break down completely?
In the Episcopal wedding liturgy, the congregation is asked, after the two parties have declared their intent, whether they will do all in their power to uphold these two persons in their marriage. This is where we have a chance to enhance the “holy” in matrimony. Whether or not we are present when a couple made their vows, we can pray for them, talk with them, tangibly support their ongoing emotional and spiritual connection. And we can counter the cultural messages about marriage with the Christian narrative – that God has made a new creation out of two distinct persons in order that they reveal Love in the world. That new creation is fragile and vulnerable – it needs nurturing and protecting.
It is not up to each couple to save their marriage – it is up to their community to support and to love them, even when they fail to stay together. If we want to see marriage upheld as holy, let’s pray and support the couples we know, for the holy comes from God, through God's people.
© Kate Heichler, 2024. To receive Water Daily by email each morning, subscribe here. Here are the bible readings for next Sunday. Water Daily is also a podcast – subscribe to it here on Apple, Spotify or your favorite podcast platform.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
9-29-21 - Law/Grace
You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday's gospel reading is here.
Want to see people get legalistic in a hurry? Bring up a “life-style” issue. It even happened around Jesus. In his remarks on marriage, divorce and adultery, he seems to emphasize the Law more strenuously than with many of his teachings. He says that Torah, the Law of Moses, provided for men to divorce their wives, but implies that this “out” was given only because of they were so incapable of love. Talking to his disciples in private, offers no such wiggle room. To which we might reply, “Yeah, well, he wasn’t married, was he?”
Nope, we don’t get to play that card. Jesus knew the human condition well enough, and no doubt had enough married friends to understand how challenging it is for two people to put their lives together for a lifetime. Yet he offers little grace in his teaching on divorce, he who was so forgiving of people who squandered their gifts in loose living, and even those who hoarded wealth and cheated others.
This is one reason it’s never a good idea to “proof text,” to find one passage of scripture to back up a position. Chances are another passage will contradict it or provide a broader context in which multiple interpretations can thrive. I think there’s a reason Jesus said these things to his disciples in private rather than to the general public – perhaps he was holding up for those who were leaders in his movement an ideal standard which he knew people less committed to God-Life might not manage.
That’s a big, wild guess, of course, if a comforting notion. I don’t know why Jesus said these things, and why he didn’t say them publicly. What I do know is that the Law is God-given – and can crush the life out of us if misused. The Law (at least in abstract) is God’s pure gift, given to impure human vessels who cannot live it fully. This puts us in rather a bind, as Paul wrote about so movingly in Romans 7 (read chapters 4-8...)
Realizing we cannot meet the demands of God's Law can inspire different responses:
Want to see people get legalistic in a hurry? Bring up a “life-style” issue. It even happened around Jesus. In his remarks on marriage, divorce and adultery, he seems to emphasize the Law more strenuously than with many of his teachings. He says that Torah, the Law of Moses, provided for men to divorce their wives, but implies that this “out” was given only because of they were so incapable of love. Talking to his disciples in private, offers no such wiggle room. To which we might reply, “Yeah, well, he wasn’t married, was he?”
Nope, we don’t get to play that card. Jesus knew the human condition well enough, and no doubt had enough married friends to understand how challenging it is for two people to put their lives together for a lifetime. Yet he offers little grace in his teaching on divorce, he who was so forgiving of people who squandered their gifts in loose living, and even those who hoarded wealth and cheated others.
This is one reason it’s never a good idea to “proof text,” to find one passage of scripture to back up a position. Chances are another passage will contradict it or provide a broader context in which multiple interpretations can thrive. I think there’s a reason Jesus said these things to his disciples in private rather than to the general public – perhaps he was holding up for those who were leaders in his movement an ideal standard which he knew people less committed to God-Life might not manage.
That’s a big, wild guess, of course, if a comforting notion. I don’t know why Jesus said these things, and why he didn’t say them publicly. What I do know is that the Law is God-given – and can crush the life out of us if misused. The Law (at least in abstract) is God’s pure gift, given to impure human vessels who cannot live it fully. This puts us in rather a bind, as Paul wrote about so movingly in Romans 7 (read chapters 4-8...)
Realizing we cannot meet the demands of God's Law can inspire different responses:
- We can give up, and toss it out altogether, living by our own instincts and reason.
- We can bear down harder, trying to legislate and control what the heart doesn’t seem capable of doing willingly.
- We can carry its standards in tension with the forgiveness of the loving and merciful God we’ve been taught to worship, and invite the transforming power of the Holy Spirit to help us live into it.
Gee, which one do you think I favor?
- Lawlessness leads to highly subjective ethics, and often to licentiousness and heartache.
- Legalism distorts God’s gift and focuses us on penalties, and then we lose sight of the Spirit and often find ourselves trying to control other people’s behavior more than our own.
- Living in the light of God’s amazing grace leads us to freedom, fostering an environment of love and forgiveness in which people can find themselves, find God, and move toward wholeness. It is only in relationship with God that we are enabled to live the Law as God intended.
If the Law of the Lord is to revive the soul, as the Psalmist wrote, it must be leavened with Grace, described here by a modern-day writer of psalms. Where will you pitch your tent?
9-28-21 - Putting the Holy In Matrimony
You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday's gospel reading is here.
When Jesus is asked whether or not divorce is permissible for the faithful, he goes to the Scriptures, quoting Genesis: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh."
Sounds simple enough. It’s the ideal of what marriage is. Much more than a change of life status and condition, marriage in the Judeo-Christian view is the creation of a new person, if you will, an entity crafted from the union of the two partners entering into this covenant. It’s a beautiful ideal, and maddeningly difficult to live into, especially in a culture that understands marriage as the consummation of romantic love. And to the question of whether only two people with different genders can become “one flesh,” the bible is silent, as it is on abortion, medical ethics, labor laws, and so many other issues that vex us today.
What Jesus is not silent on is the sanctity of the union once made. He answers the Pharisees in a fairly general way – “…Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” But Mark tells us that in private he has a different answer for his disciples: Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Harsh words. I wonder why Jesus didn’t define it so starkly in public – did he know it might drive people away, as it once did a parishioner of mine when this passage was read in church? And why does this statement allow no room for situations like abuse, infidelity or neglect that might warrant dissolving a marriage? And what do we make of our times, in which so many marriages suffer estrangement, unfaithfulness and often break down completely?
In the Episcopal wedding liturgy, the congregation is asked, after the two parties have declared their intent, whether they will do all in their power to support these two persons in their life in Christ. This is where we have a chance to enhance the “holy” in matrimony. Whether or not we are present when a couple made their vows, we can pray for them, talk with them, tangibly support their ongoing emotional and spiritual connection. And we can counter the cultural messages about marriage with the Christian narrative – that God has made a new creation out of two distinct persons in order that they reveal Love in the world. That new creation is fragile and vulnerable – it needs nurturing and protecting.
It is not up to each couple to save their marriage – it is up to their community to support and to love them, even when they fail to stay together. If we want to see marriage upheld as holy, let’s pray and support the couples we know, for the holy comes from God, through God's people.
When Jesus is asked whether or not divorce is permissible for the faithful, he goes to the Scriptures, quoting Genesis: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh."
Sounds simple enough. It’s the ideal of what marriage is. Much more than a change of life status and condition, marriage in the Judeo-Christian view is the creation of a new person, if you will, an entity crafted from the union of the two partners entering into this covenant. It’s a beautiful ideal, and maddeningly difficult to live into, especially in a culture that understands marriage as the consummation of romantic love. And to the question of whether only two people with different genders can become “one flesh,” the bible is silent, as it is on abortion, medical ethics, labor laws, and so many other issues that vex us today.
What Jesus is not silent on is the sanctity of the union once made. He answers the Pharisees in a fairly general way – “…Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” But Mark tells us that in private he has a different answer for his disciples: Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Harsh words. I wonder why Jesus didn’t define it so starkly in public – did he know it might drive people away, as it once did a parishioner of mine when this passage was read in church? And why does this statement allow no room for situations like abuse, infidelity or neglect that might warrant dissolving a marriage? And what do we make of our times, in which so many marriages suffer estrangement, unfaithfulness and often break down completely?
In the Episcopal wedding liturgy, the congregation is asked, after the two parties have declared their intent, whether they will do all in their power to support these two persons in their life in Christ. This is where we have a chance to enhance the “holy” in matrimony. Whether or not we are present when a couple made their vows, we can pray for them, talk with them, tangibly support their ongoing emotional and spiritual connection. And we can counter the cultural messages about marriage with the Christian narrative – that God has made a new creation out of two distinct persons in order that they reveal Love in the world. That new creation is fragile and vulnerable – it needs nurturing and protecting.
It is not up to each couple to save their marriage – it is up to their community to support and to love them, even when they fail to stay together. If we want to see marriage upheld as holy, let’s pray and support the couples we know, for the holy comes from God, through God's people.
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