Who knew that Jesus was the Emily Post of his day? In this week’s story, we find him awfully concerned with the etiquette and protocol of party-going – and giving.
Having been raised in the Foreign Service life, I know how critical protocol is – where each guest is seated, according to social rank and significance at that event; how each is to be addressed. These matters are particularly important in Middle Eastern culture. I recently attended an interfaith event and a Lebanese friend was outraged that I was not seated at a table befitting (his view of) my importance.
So Jesus was attentive to the etiquette at this Shabbat dinner to which he had been invited – at the home of a leading Pharisee, no less (quite the social coup, to be invited to such a home...). Watching his fellow guests subtly and not-so-subtly try to snag “important” seats, he offers a talk about etiquette and protocol. And once again he turns things on their heads.
“Don’t try to sit in the good spots, near the 'important' people,” he says. “Take the most humble seat; let someone else single you out for honor.” And he doesn’t stop with correct behavior for guests – he also advises on how to go about giving a party. Addressing his host directly, he says, ‘When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.”
A faux pas, if ever I heard of one, telling your host who else he should have invited! And what guests! The poor, crippled, lame and blind… Wait, did he really say, the poor? They couldn’t possibly have the right clothes, my dear. And they might smell. And… what on earth would we talk about? And it might not be safe…. And the crippled, lame and blind? Doesn’t he know that as followers of Moses’ law we can’t consort with the blemished? Good Lord!
Okay, it’s easy to make fun of that unknown Pharisee. But isn’t this teaching a bit of a challenge to all of us? After all, I like to invite people I know and like, whom I think will like each other. Might just be me… but sometimes I even like to invite people I think are important, with whom I’d like to become friendly so I feel important.
Remember what we keep rediscovering – that Jesus was always crossing boundaries of difference to bring the Good News - as he did in coming to us in our time and space in the first place… And that as his followers we also are called to go beyond our zones of familiarity and comfort to reach out to the Other?
What kind of “Other” most scares or bothers you? (think age/ethnicity/profession/style…)
In prayer, can you imagine inviting one of those people into your home, to sit at your table?
This is a way we can pray for and about people – in our imaginations.
What would you serve? Try to sit with this in your imagination, really feel what you would be feeling.
What might you say? What might your guest say?
Who else might around that table?
I can think of at least one person I KNOW will be there – the One who told you to cross that boundary in the first place. You didn’t think he was going to leave you at that party by yourself, did you?
On Twitter: @kateheichler
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