8-29-13 - Gifts of the 'Other'

“When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind…”
My parents had a habit of inviting what we called “stray cats” over for holiday meals, often foreigners far from their homes. As an adult, I’ve done that too. But as a child I would cringe at what I perceived to be the awkwardness of some of our guests. This was a long way from inviting in the homeless and lost, but it was enough of a stretch. I couldn’t get past the “other-ness” to relax into their company.

Part of why we see some people or groups as challenging is that our vision gets distorted by whatever “offending” characteristic we focus on. We fail to see their full humanity, to remember that a mean-looking biker is still someone’s son; a resource-squandering 1-percenter is someone’s sister.

I was once in a wedding in rural England. After all the festivities, I traveled back to where I was staying in north London. There I was in the Tube, still in my bridesmaid’s dress and holding my bouquet along with my luggage, when a group of very “tatted,” black-leather clad, loud and boisterous young men got on the car I was in. “Oh, please don’t notice me,” I thought – but sure enough, one of the biggest, baddest-looking came and loomed over me. “Oh God…,” I thought, my heart pounding. “Is them frejas?” he asked. “Wha-what?” “Frejas. Frejas.” I had no idea what he was saying. “Is them frejas?” he asked again, pointing to my bouquet. “Look, mates, frejas. My mum used to have those…” Ah. Fresias. He smiled, I smiled, they smiled – there we were, bonding over flowers in the subway, no longer strangers. (And I learned what a fresia is…)

Jesus spent a fair amount of time with people we’d be scared to run into on the Tube or on the street. And many of them became his friends and followers. So it still is, I’ve discovered praying with people in homeless shelters. Some manipulators, sure; mostly people who genuinely want to be whole and productive, to feel the living water splashing through their lives and hearts. And yes, Jesus suggests that these, people on whom we’d rather bestow charity than offer hospitality, are the ones we should invite into our lives. “And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you…”

I don’t want to argue with Jesus – but I think those people can repay us, do repay us. When we stop seeing those who frighten or annoy us as “those people,” or view those who are in need or debilitated as “victims” or “needy,” and rather as people with assets and talents and gifts to offer, it becomes a lot easier to think about having “them” in “our” space. We enlarge our space to accommodate them. Our reading from Hebrews on Sunday reminds us, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Yesterday I invited you to imagine in prayer having someone you find really challenging at your table.
Today, let’s bring up the same person or group of persons,and just hold that image in your mind’s eye.
Now, invite God to show you more about who they are – their gifts, wounds, defenses, connections.
Look for what you have in common – that’s often where we start to enlarge our space.

The realm of God is one of radical social equality (maybe that’s why so many decline to dwell there).
“In Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, woman nor man, slave nor free,” Paul wrote into the future.
All our superficial differences melt away as we become part of the family of God. 
And you do meet the most amazing people hanging out with this family.