Squabbling in the car on an endless road trip. That’s what I think of when I hear this week’s gospel reading, and Jesus’ questioning of his disciples:
Then they came to Capernaum; and when he was in the house he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the way?” But they were silent, for on the way they had argued with one another who was the greatest.
There is something about journeying that can foster tension – and when your leader has just announced that at some point he will be arrested, tried and executed, that tension will go through the roof. Afraid to ask Jesus what on earth he was talking about, his disciples instead turned on each other, discussing who was greater than the next. Vying for top spot, they little realized that the more visible they were as leaders in Jesus’ community, the more vulnerable they would be.
Jockeying for position is something humans tend to do when we are insecure about where we are. Sure, some ruthlessly ambitious people are always looking for an angle to get ahead, but most of us stay pretty content until the ground starts to shift. Then it suddenly matters how we’re perceived and where we’re received. We begin to compare ourselves to others around us, to measure ourselves against not our own standards, or God’s, but those of others.
As Christ-followers, we don't have to do that. One of the great gifts that comes with membership in the family of God is freedom from having to position ourselves. In a community in which no one has more value than anyone else, no matter what our level of accomplishment or productivity, we don’t have to compete for attention or reward. If God already loves us the most, and is already as delighted with us as God could possibly be, why worry about being seen as worthy or getting ahead of other people?
Of course, many of us still do, because we’re human and it takes a long time for the knowledge of God’s unmerited and limitless grace to replace the messages of competition and progress we ingest from family, school and workplace. It doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves daily of our infinite worth in the eyes of the Infinite Being. Or to remind each other. Who might you remind today, “God already loves you the most – you don’t need to prove anything.”
Had Jesus’ disciples grasped that sooner, they would have had a different experience of being with him. They got it eventually - and so, God willing, will we.
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