8-29-22 - Family Values

You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday's gospel reading is here. 

In our current culture, the most benign-seeming things can become controversial, and nothing so much as family. The term “family values” is often associated with conservative Christian groups and their positions on social issues. More liberal elements in society redefine the term "family" beyond biological kin to include those we choose to love, be they adoptive children or same-gendered partners.

Jesus had something to say about family values too, but I doubt our arguments about family would have interested him much. He told his followers to leave the whole concept behind and focus on making his Gospel of forgiveness and freedom known to the world: Now large crowds were travelling with him; and he turned and said to them, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”

Did Jesus really say that? Well, this was the man who, when told that his mother and brothers wanted to see him, said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”(Mt 12:50) This is the man whose followers left their homes and families to travel with him, checking in now and then, but committing themselves to a bigger, messier, non-biological family.

Jesus’ teaching radically undermines how human nature and culture lead us to think and act. Our earthly families can be great blessings – and they are among the “things that are passing away.” In the perspective of eternity, they pale in importance to our membership in the family of God. We are invited to walk a fine line in loving and nurturing our human families and not letting our love for them distract us from cultivating our relationship with God and God's people.

That means prizing our family members as gifts from God given in us trust to nurture and help grow, not to possess or cling to. We don’t have to love our families less – we are invited to love our mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters and brothers in the household of God more. Then we are able to be even more loving to those in our human families.

Today, let’s give thanks for our families of origin – the gifts the challenges, the truth.
If your experience of family is painful, can you invite the living water of healing into those wounds?
Then reflect on who you’ve come to know and love in your “God-family” –grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins in the faith. Who comes to mind?
What has she or he brought to your life?
And who are your “children” in faith – people whom you’ve mentored and supported in their faith life?
Finally, who do you know who could use a new family, whom you might bring into the household of God?

During the pandemic, my congregation has expanded to enfold some Canadians who regularly worship, study, pray and minister with us online. Last week, one of these sisters came to visit us in Southern Maryland, bringing along a friend who also became a sister. They marveled at the warm reception – but that’s how you welcome family. The family of God is ever growing, as we expand our circles of love and healing to include ever more brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. That’s a lot of birthday cards!

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5-31-21 - Mom! Make Him Stop!

You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday's gospel reading is here.

This week we get a little glimpse into Jesus’ earthly family. Just a glimpse, but enough to suggest they were a lot like other people’s families: protective of their reputation, swift to pounce when someone steps out of the norm. And might we detect a little sibling resentment against the big brother who can, literally, do no wrong?

This passage from Mark’s gospel shows Jesus right after he’s begun his public ministry of preaching, healing, casting out demons. Just prior to this, he selects his twelve closest disciples and then, Mark tells us, “He went home.” Home, presumably, was no longer the woodshop in Nazareth where he grew up, but Capernaum, the town where Peter and Andrew lived, where Jesus resided when not on the road.

But sometimes “home” doesn’t get shaken so easily. When Jesus’ family hears about the crowds that form around him everywhere he goes, they think it’s time to do something.

[Then he went home;] and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.”

Imagine a parent who goes out to reclaim a son or daughter who’s gotten involved in a cult – and discovers their offspring is the cult leader! It must not have been easy for Jesus’ family to see his activities, the wild things he was saying, the miracles he was working, the lowlifes he was hanging out with, the way he stood up to the religious leaders – it sure looked to them like “he has gone out of his mind.” Perhaps they were so used to seeing him one way, they couldn’t conceive of who he had become.

Whatever their motives, their efforts to quiet him didn't work. In response to being told his mother and brothers were outside, wanting to talk to him, Jesus redefined his family. His words may sound harsh to our sentimental ears, but he was just being clear about priorities for those who claim to be his followers:

Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

How do those words make you feel? Where in your hierarchy of values is your family - and do they support you getting closer to Jesus, or are they threatened by it?

Are you willing to let people know you are part of Jesus' family, not just a follower, but a brother or sister? Because he said we, whoever does the will of God, are now his mother, his brothers, his sisters. For Christ-followers, family is no longer defined by blood. The community of faith comes first. That’s what "family values" are meant to be for us.

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11-27-13 - Food and Family

Ask most Americans what they associate with Thanksgiving, and most will answer, “Food and family.” Some might add, “And stress.” This is one holiday when making the food sometimes causes stress, which we then seek to relieve by eating too much food – a nice little cycle that leads nowhere good (throw in too much alcohol, and things really get interesting…)

Back when I was planning alternative worship every week, I wrote a lot of sermon dramas. One of the most fun – and elaborate – was at Thanksgiving time one year, called “The Martha Show.” It depicted a TV cooking show featuring a famous Martha. Not Martha of Westport, though the character shared many of her attributes. This one was Martha of Bethany, whose dinner party for Jesus got her so stressed out she became royally ticked off at her sister for not helping. (Sound like a Thanksgiving scene you’ve seen?)

And in the midst of prepping for her Thanksgiving show, an unexpected guest arrives early. Not what our Martha wanted. She wanted to make a beautiful dinner for Jesus, not with Jesus. And she wants her sister to help, damn it! But Mary recognizes that when this guest comes to dinner, you need to stop what you’re doing and receive the gifts he brings.

We can get so busy preparing for Thanksgiving that we barely appreciate the time with our loved ones when it arrives. Same thing, in a broader way, can happen during Advent. In a season meant to help us prepare to receive the gift of Christ in our lives, we sometimes get so busy preparing we miss the fact that he’s already showed up.

Jesus’ words to Martha in the gospel story are simple and pointed: “Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things. Only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the best part, and it will not be taken away from her.”

If you are happy and at peace today, hallelujah – spread some of that peace to someone stressed.

And if you’re worrying and fretting about anything today, stop and imagine Jesus walking into whatever place you’re in, and saying, “Hey, hey, you are worried and fretting. You don’t need to. You have everything you need – I’m here.” Try that on, in prayer, in your imagination today. One of God’s promises is peace when we pray, and presence, and power.

Wherever you’re spending Thanksgiving this year, and whoever you’re spending it with, invite Jesus to the table. That’s kind of what it means to say grace – to invoke his holy presence. See if it’s different being aware of him there.

And don’t forget to pass him the stuffing – they didn’t have that in Judea back in the day…